All Things In Moderation

…….. and moderation in all things .

Archive for March, 2009

My Ultimate Goal

Posted by Susan on March 31, 2009

One of my ultimate goals for this blogging adventure is to post progress pictures. I have plenty of them, I’ve been documenting this weight loss journey now for a little over 2 years. I haven’t taken any recently, I was thinking of having my husband take some this weekend. I wonder if I will ever have the courage to do it. It will be like rehashing a time in my life that I was at my most vulnerable, when I flet the lowest. But it is also a reminder of a time when I made a choice. A time when I made an important decision to commit to something and focus on it. A time that I chose to do the work that was needed to achieve a goal.

I am not at my goal yet, but I am at this momentt the closest I have ever been. I think the last time I was at my currnet weight I was in my late 20’s. When I finally reach my goal I will be around the weight I was in my early 20’s.

The thought of laying it all out there is daunting. It is also honest. I worry about judgement, not only from others , but from myself. Usually when I look at the progress pictures I get frustrated because I really can’t see a whole heck of a lot of difference. My husband says he can, but sometimes I think he is seeing me with eyses of love instead of eyes of brutal honesty. I am unsure I could handle that kind of honesty anyway !

One day I hope to dig down deep inside myself and find the guts it takes to post pictures, and see my progress for what it is, and be proud of it. For now I think I will hold on to the pictures a little longer.

Anyway, today I did well. I feel a little PMSie in the mood and bloat department. Thankfully , my food has been fine, no crazy cravings or uncontrolable hunger. I did cardio today: 30 min. spin bike, and 30 min. elliptical.

I can’t beleve tomorrow is already mid-week ! This week is whizzing by !

Posted in honesty, progress, weight loss, workouts | 2 Comments »

Turkey Meatloaf

Posted by Susan on March 30, 2009

I can’t remember where I got this recipe so here it is:

1 pkge. ground turkey
1/2 c. red bell pepper
1/2 c. green bell pepper
1/2 c. onion
1/2 c. steel cut oatmeal
2 egg whites

Preheat oven 350 degrees
cook 1/2 c. of steel cut oats in 3 c. boiling water for 10 min. strain out all the water
combine chooped peppers, onion, egg whites, strained oats into a bowl with 1 pkg. of ground tukey
I take a baking sheet, and cover it with tin foil and spray small amount of PAM on it, then I separate the meat in half and form them into 2 small loaves, and put them on the baking sheet, bake for 45 min. sometimes I top the loaves with a little low fat cheese. The mixture will seem a little watery when you first mold the meatlaoves, don’t worry, once it is baked it stays together.

What is great about this recipe is that you can substitute any vegetables you like , just rough chop them and throw them in…the veggies in the ground turkey keeps the meatloaf moist ( turkey tends to be dry without the miosture of the veggies). This recipe makes a weeks a lot of meat loaf…….sometimes I freeze one. Enjoy !

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A Very Productive Sunday

Posted by Susan on March 30, 2009

I got soo much done yesterday ! I cooked all my food for the week, including the llittle beauty pictured above. I made these little 1/2 cup Diet Coke Cupcakes. I used a Pillsbury Reduced Sugar Chocolate Cake Mix and a 16 oz. can of Diet Coke ! That’s it ! It made 18 of these little cakes, at 100 calories each. I just add some Low Fat Whip Cream , and I have a nice little after dinner treat ! I hate spending money on 100 calorie pack sweets , they are expensive if they are not on sale. These were cost effective and calorie friendly. I don’t know about anyone else , but I need dessert after dinner, and I refuse to deprive myself because I know it will end up eating something later that I shouldn’t. These are perfect portion-wise and the taste really good. Moist, sort of brownie- like. I also made a turkey meatloaf yeasterday as well.

Today was my first day back to work after a week of freedom. I got up early this morning to workout , and it was nice ,in a way ,to get it done early. I didn’t sleep well last night knowing I had to go back , but after getting up so early this morning I am sure I will be tired tonight.

It was really weird going back today……..I was only gone for a week, but suddenly everyone noticed my weight loss. It is definately not because it happened over night or anything, I have been working on it for a while now. It must have been the week of not seeing me that made people notice. It was nice to hear, added some fuel to my motivation fire for sure.

I am glad I made it through today, it seems like if I can get myself through Mondays, the remainder of the week passes quickly.

Posted in calories, weight loss | 2 Comments »

Confession Time……………

Posted by Susan on March 29, 2009

Ok, time to come clean….this morning when I got up I couldn’t help myself…..I weighed myself ! I know, I was going to let it go, and I have, but I was curious. I am at the exact same weight as I was at last week’s weigh in. That makes me feel a bit better.

I need to start thinking logically here………..I am 158 lbs. down from 186 lbs. at the end of last year, and down from 210 lbs. from the every start of this journey. I am only 13 lbs. away from my ultimate goal of 145 lbs. My weight loss progress is going to slow down…….the less I have to lose the harder it will be to lose it. I need to keep my eye on the prize and keep moving ahead. I feel like in this year so far I have learned sooooo many lessons, and Friday night was one of them. I have come a long way. So what I need to do is be patient, and be good to myself, and just know in my heart I will get there. I feel really positive about that. So, as I know I should’ve left the scale alone this morning….I am only human, and yes a bit scale obsessed to a point. But it is getting better. I am going to have some tough weigh ins a head of me now . I need to be prepared for them, take a deep breath, and keep in mind that it is normal.

On to the week ahead…… much as I feel sad my week of freedom from work has ended, there is a part of me that is happy to get back into the comfort of my routine. I need routine in my life (the control freak in me !), it makes me feel calm. I have a ton to do today to prepare for it, cooking for the week, and getting some things done around the house, and I would love to find time today to do a SS cardio session. I’ll see how it all goes.

I also want to get some reading in today. I am reading an excellent book right now and I suggest it. “Naturally Thin” by Bethany Frankle. If you are a reality tv fan as I am (guilty pleasure) you will know her from ” The Real Housewives of NYC”. she is a natural foods chef and has some really good strategies for portion control and eating out. I usually read these books and take what I can use from the advice and leave the rest. I intend to keep up what I am doing now, because I have learned the hard way : “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it !” That being said, I like her thinking, it is logical, and makes a lot of sense to me. I will use most of what she outlines in the book when I am finally at goal and I am working on maintaining . It is a good read though, it is written like she is talking to you, and it is easy to understand and relate to.

Ok enough rambling for one Sunday ! I am off to start my day and get things done !

Posted in books, fittness, weigh in, weight loss | 3 Comments »

Weekly Weigh In:

Posted by Susan on March 28, 2009

Well…..this morning’s weigh in was not exactly what I’d hoped….but it is my own fault and I take full responsiblity. I was up 1.4 lbs. I did really good this week, did extra cardio, everything was perfect…..until last night ! The best mexican I have EVER had….I over did it in the guacamole dept. , and ate 2 fajitas, when I should have had 1 and brought the rest home. I had a few bites of some incerdible creamy potatoes, and a few bites of some yummy plantians, and ended the evening with a few bites of flan….all of it was exceptional !!! I ate really late, so I didn’t sleep so hot…being full and boated makes me sleep like crap no matter how many tums I chew on ! I was so wound up after dinner and catching up on over a years worth of goings on with my friend, that iI didn’t get to bed until ater 1 AM !!! I STILL feel like I just ate !!!!!!!

So anyway……I blew my weigh in big time, but the food and the company was soo worth it and I am not upset about it. I will lose more next week when my body is back on schedual. The one good thing is that when I put on my Size 12 jeans last night to go out, they were really baggy in the butt area…….it may be time to go down a size soon (YAY!).

What this weigh in has taught me is this: I still have to live my life, I deserve to enjoy a good meal with a good friend, and aside from all the yummy guacamole, and the exta fajita, I didn’t do so bad….I just need to learn to stop when I am full….I did sort of , I just need to do a little better. There’s always next week. I am toying with the idea of weighing myself again tomorrow morning considering I still feel like I just ate ! But I think it is better to fess up to my food sins and move on.

Right now I cannot even THINK about eating breakfast ! EWWW! I still have a definate food hangover and I still feel a bit of the bloat ! But the big difference in all this is my reaction ! I am not upset, frustrated or freaked out. I am fine with it. I know what I did, I don’t honestly feel like I undid any of the good I have been doing. I just feel like this is life. I am nuts if I think this will never happen, I can’t say no everytime someone asks me out, and I can’t deprive myself all the time. This is just part of my journey, and next week will be better….and I know it !!!

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The week comes to a close…………………….

Posted by Susan on March 27, 2009

Wow ! This week of freedom has flown by ! It was so nice not to have to go to work, but I must admit, being off schedual in some ways was difficult. My sleep schedual was so off ! I haven’t slept well all week, even though I was able to sleep in as late as I wanted. As a result of the sleep thing, my AM workouts have been not always AM workouts. I got in extra cardio this week, but sometimes , like yesterday, I didn’t get to it until the afternoon ! Oh well, as long as they get done and done well (and they definately have) that’s all that matters.

On the upside of the week, I was really surprised with the food this week. I found myself on the lower end of my calorie range ( except the night of the zombie binge) and I thought that would be harder. Being home, having food more available, I thought it would be more challenging…Surprise ! It was actually easier. I didn’t bother eating if I wasn’t hungry, and sometimes at the end of the day I would realize I needed to add a snack just to get me up to the lower side of my daily calorie range.

Tonight I am going out for Mexican with a friend I haven’t seen in over a year, so I am really looking forward to that. I’ve already decided on what I will have and it is already figured into my calories for the day. Knowing I am going out tonight I am lightening up my calories today. I need to workout yet, today is circuits , and 20 min. HIIT. I would love to add a spin class on to that, we will see what time permits……it is my last day, I really want to soak up the realxing for one more day!

The friend who I helped get started on a workout program called me last night…..she got in her 30 min HIIT , and told me she was sore (good sore) and that she felt really empowered from working out !!!!! I am so happy. Will she be consistant long enough to get some results? We shall see, but at least she got a taste of how it feels to do a planned workout, and complete something .

I have mixed feelings today, I am sad to see my week end, but at the same time, I feel comfort in routine, and look forward to getting back into it. My next vacation will be in June.

Posted in calories, food, routine, workouts | 2 Comments »

No Such Thing As a Quick Fix………..

Posted by Susan on March 26, 2009

Another day……my this week off has flown by !!!!! Today nothing is really planned, I will hang out with my sister at some point but that’s about it as far as any plans go. Today is a cardio day for me. Becuse yesterday I was showing my friend some body weight exercises, I ended up pretty much working out with her….so I did double circuits, and I am a little sore today. But a little extra is a good thing right?

I am anxious to see if my workout buddy did her HIIT this morning that I schedualed for her. I hope she did. My friend had Gastric Bypass Surgery 3 years ago. She did really well, she lost over 100 lbs. One thing she did not do while going through this drastic weight loss journey was exercise. I bugged her all the time about it, but she just refused. She hated it, didn’t have time, and didn’t think it was important.

Now 3 years later, her weight is creeping back and she is getting nervous. Becuase the past few months I have been seeing some noticable results, she is begining to see how important as well as necessary working out along with eating right is. That is why I took the time yesterday to show her some quick , easy but effective things that should help.

We went to Walmart, bought her some things , one especially I insisted on was the calorie counting book. I am convinced that half the world has no clue what they are eating in a day. I asked her (begged her) to take 3 days, eat exactly what you always eat….everything ! ………..and write it down. At the end of the day I told her to add it up and see exactly what the number is. I don’t understand why no one wants to do this?????? I know it is a pain in the neck, I know it takes time, but wouldn’t you want to know if your eating too much? If you can cut back on some things, figure out better portion sizes so you can still eat what you want and not gain weight????? I don’t get the reisitance…….I do it so automatically that I don’t even think about it anymore and it takes me no time at all. Sometimes it even leads me to not eating something crappy because I do not want to log it in and add it. And I have also discovered that there are some things that are just not worth their calories… for example fun size candy bars…..80 calories…….forget it ! I could have something better for me and more satisfying for 100 !!!!! I am sick of people telling me it is obsessive ! It is smart ! It makes sense!

Ok enough ranting. The moral of this story is this……………there is NO such thing as a quick fix !!!!!!!!! No pill, no surgery, no magic exercise program that does not require you to get off the sofa !! NOTHING ! It is work, and it sometimes stinks ! I can’t tell you how many times I have been laying on the floor in my workout room at 3AM between sets of circuits and thought “what the hell am I doing? Am I nuts?” How many times I wanted to grab a candy bar at the check out counter when I buy something and say……” oh well one little slip won’t hurt, I will just pretend it never happened !” There are time that I give in , but more time that I don’t and that has brought me the sucess I have had so far.

If you are ready for change and really want it, it is worth the effort. I hope my friend is ready to see finally that she cannot stop this slow steady weight gain without taking action and being willing. From some of our talks yesterday I am not sure she is, but I hope so……it is a hard lesson to learn, and sometimes it is a lesson you need to learn by experience…..I was hoping to save her some trouble but sometimes you just have to see for yourself. I know I took that road. It took a huge weight gain and a lot of wasted time , money, and a lot of heartache before I did the things I knew all along I was supposed to do.

Ok enough preaching for one day….on to breakfast and cardio …….Have a good one !

* I asked my friend permission to mention her in my blog today, and she agreed. (Thanx Friend !)

Posted in diet, exercise, friends, weight loss, workouts | 2 Comments »

Girls Night Out !

Posted by Susan on March 25, 2009

Last night was my long awaited night out with my friends. It was so much fun catching up and hanging out, especially since I am on vacation and did not have to worry about getting home and getting to bed. I was excellent at the restraunt. I has a salad with salmon, low fat dressing on the side. I didn’t eat the appetizer, and I didn’t indulge in a cocktail. It felt great not to walk out of the place feeling bloated and like my pants are about to pop !

I got home at a decent hour, took a shower and watched some TV, read for a bit and then went to bed. Well, that is when the trouble began. My husband went to bed before me, and he was asleep when I got there…….and he was intermittently snoring like a chain saw !!!!! Every so often he has a this unexplained snoring problem. Last night it was awful. I was not able to shut off my brain as it was, and the snoring made me crazy. Every now and then I struggle with sleep problem, but for the most part I sleep well, but last night was one of those nights where thoughts played over and over in my head like a movie I can’t turn off. I went into the spare bedroom to sleep……………no go ! I was frustrated and angry. I got up and I went into the kitchen stood at the sink and proceeded to stuff 100 calorie bites sized pieces of cake into my mouth. I was literally in a daze stuffing cake into my mouth !!!!!! It was nuts !!!!!! Afterward that I went back to my bed….Matt (husband) had quieted down and fell asleep around 3 am. I can not believe how I reacted to the stress and frustration of not being able to sleep !!!! It kills me because I was so good all day, I felt like I looked better than ever going out, and I completely sabotaged it all!

When I woke up this morning I literally got up and thought I would throw up. I had to lay down on the bathroom floor until it passed. About 30 min. later I felt better and was able to do my workout, but the start of it was very painful…..I did NOT feel like doing it…..but I did it anyway. I need to isolate this little episode and move on………..the mindless binge was bad, but I need to let it go. I am writting about it as a way to purge it so I can forget it……so it is now forgotten !

This morning I am showing a friend how to do circuits and HIIT. She has never really worked out, and I am hoping she enjoys it. I am also hoping she doesn’t frustrate me with too much complaining. She is one of the people who asks me what I do, and the minute I mention calorie counting and workouts her eyes glaze over and she automatically says ” Oh I could never do that…..” I will do my best to inspire her and show her some good body weight moves, and hope it sinks in…..we’ll see.

So I am on to a new day, hoping for a better day…….and night , than last. I am hoping to fit in some extra cardio today to make up for certain sins that I have completely forgotten about !!! 😉

UPDATE : I helped my friend today, went over a little program I made up for her, taught her how to HIIT in the treadmill. She did really great ! Will she do it consistantly? We shall see…….I know she really wants it, the question is does she want it bad enough to do the work? That reamins to be seen.

Posted in binges, calories, eating out, food, workouts | 1 Comment »

I am spending my vacation with……………….

Posted by Susan on March 24, 2009

These guys ! It is nice to have extra time in the day to do some extra working out. Yesterday I did an extra 1 hr. cardio session plus my regular circuit training and HIIT session. Today is a cardio day, and I don’t think I will have time for 2 sessions, but I will definately get in 1 hr.of SS cardio. I am also fasting today until dinner, because tonight is dinner out with some friends I used to work with. We’ve stayed in touch now for like 5 years I think, seen each other through 2 weddings, a new baby, and numerous other ups and downs in our lives. We try to get together for dinner every few months. Lately though, especially since I have been seriously working tward my weight loss goal, I have been avoiding the whole dinner thing. This dinner date with them is long over due.

I researched the restraunt we are going to, it is called Maggie McFly’s. It is a chain , theme restraunt, with a whole bunch of very fattening crap on the menu. I think I found something suitable though, but I need to do something I have never really done before………ask for something the way I want it ! Yes , as silly as it sounds I have never done this. Aside from asking for dressing on the side, or hold the fries I’ve never ordered food to my specifications. Tonight will be a first. I found a really nice salmon salad: salmon on a bed of organice baby greens, but it comes with red potato salad in the actual salad…………I want them to hold the potatoes and give me a different dressing than the one it is tossed with on the side…….I have this thing about not putting people out on my account, and it extends into restraunt ordering for some crazy reason. But I am seeing that people do this all the time…so why not get things how I want them right? I also don’t like drawing attention to the fact the I am on a diet……..but too bad, who really cares anyway.

One thing that I don’t like about this vacation thing are the nights…I’ve mentioned before that one of my issues is night time eating. Last night I had my niece until close to 9pm (my sister works Mon. nights). when she left I was starved , I tryed to sleep, but mentally knowing that I did not have my to get up at my usual ungodly hour in the morning, I wasn’t able to sleep. I got up and ate 3 cookies !!!! I know no great tragedy, I did not go over my calories , it was really no big deal, but it pissed me off just the same ! I have got to get to bed earlier, not give myself a chance to get the “night munchies”. Tonight I will be home a bit late , but I will (hopefully) be full from dinner and be able to take a shower and relax without temptation.

Tonight will be fun, and I am excited to catch up with friends. I bought a new top to wear, because I am finding most of my tops are big and look really sloppy because of it. I bought simple , navy, fitted blouse I will wear with my new smaller size jeans (yay! I’ve had those suckers for 3 years and FINALLY they fit well). When I was bigger I would just wear my scrubs out when we went out, since I was usually going out from work, it was never a big deal. It was easier, too , than agaonizing over what to wear that would not make me look like a line backer (remember, I am 5’9″ and 200 lbs. doesn’t make you look just fat, but BIG !) . It is so nice to feel a little better about how I look and not take the “oh who cares what I look like anyway” approach to dressing because nothing looks decent !!! I think I will have a good night !

Posted in calories, cardio, night time eating, restraunt ordering, workouts | Leave a Comment »

First Sign Of Spring

Posted by Susan on March 23, 2009

A tiny little sign of spring ! I found it in my yard yesterday. So pretty , isn’t it? It is hard to beleive it is spring already, especially when it is FREEEZING outside today ! When i see the little signs, like this little purple flower, it gives me hope that warm weather is really going to happen ! I love all the seasons, but I am ready for some warm weather. I am ready to work out in the yard, I am ready to sit out on the deck and eat dinner. And for the first time this year I think I may be ready to go to the lake we live on !!!!! That is exciting ! I have lived here for 2 summers and I’ve never been down there in a swim suit ! Will this be the summer?……stay tuned !

This weekend I had a chance to catch up on all my favorite blogs. One in particular made me think. It was about how life had changed since blogging. I can relate to a lot of what the author wrote. It was a really well written, honest post , and it really got me thinking.

I began thinking about my jouney and what blogging has added to it. In my case I beleive that reading blogs has helped me. One blog especially has given me so much inspiration and motivation. Writing my blog has helped me feel like I have a place to rant, to celebrate victories and cry about my defeats. I don’t think anyone actually reads my blog, I write it more for myself than anything else. I try to stay honest, and I try not to censor my feelings, but I do try too keep it positve. I have enough negative self talk floating around in my brain most of the time, I like to try to counteract that with some positive writing.

As far as being obsessed with food…….I had to think long and hard on that one. I am obsessed to a point. I write down every morsal of food I put in my mouth, look up calories, when I am going out to eat I have to know where I am going, I scour online menus trying to find things I can eat without totally blowing it. I even have on occasion said no to invites where I knew the temptations would be too great. If I had to be completely honest, I would have to admit yes……that is definately obsessive.

My workout routine is somewhat obsessive as well. I do it every morning, I go to bed super early so that I am able to get up early enough to get the workout in, I’ve made it a habit, and a must. I will also turn down invites if I feel like it will interfere with them getting done. Obsessive.

On the other side of the cion, and this is my opinion as it applys to me, these practices, this obsession has definately brought me results. I beleive that not eating mindfully, not knowing how many calories I was eating, was the entire reason I weighed 210 lbs. I feel that I was out of control, I was kidding myself. I feel like I was not doing the work. Nothing is easy….especially weight loss. I feel like I need to keep track of my food intake and my exercise to ensure my sucess.

Being 210 lbs. was a nightmare for me. I am 5’9 and all my life I was thin. Suddenly I hit my mid thirties and all that changed. I was in denial. I would not admit I was overweight till the number 210 slapped me in the face. I kept saying I would fix it, I would lose it all…..but instead I just kept getting deeper and deeper into it.

Right now I am in the best place I’ve been in in years. I can see some of the old me peeking through. My husband didn’t even know me in my “skinny days”. He met me as I was on the steady climb up the pound ladder. Thankfully he loved me regardless….but even that didn’t make me feel better. I felt for the first time in my life totally invisible. I felt ugly, I felt like people though I was lazy and sloppy. I never want to go back to that place again.

I know that being obsessed with anything is not a great thing. But for now, I like to think of it as being focused on my goal. I don’t ever want to eat mindlessly again. I don’t ever want to get out of the exercise habit. I don’t ever want to binge eat loads of crap. Eventually I feel that when I’ve reached my goal and I am maintaining, I will find a balence with eating and exercising. In fact that will be one of my main goals while maintaining. But for now, I will just stay obsessed (focused), because for now it works for me.

As for blog reading, I think I always will. How else do you find excellent posts, thought provoking insights, motivation and inspiration, when you are not always surrounded by like minded people working tword the same goals?

Posted in exercise, food, motivation, workouts | 1 Comment »