All Things In Moderation

…….. and moderation in all things .

First Sign Of Spring

Posted by Susan on March 23, 2009

A tiny little sign of spring ! I found it in my yard yesterday. So pretty , isn’t it? It is hard to beleive it is spring already, especially when it is FREEEZING outside today ! When i see the little signs, like this little purple flower, it gives me hope that warm weather is really going to happen ! I love all the seasons, but I am ready for some warm weather. I am ready to work out in the yard, I am ready to sit out on the deck and eat dinner. And for the first time this year I think I may be ready to go to the lake we live on !!!!! That is exciting ! I have lived here for 2 summers and I’ve never been down there in a swim suit ! Will this be the summer?……stay tuned !

This weekend I had a chance to catch up on all my favorite blogs. One in particular made me think. It was about how life had changed since blogging. I can relate to a lot of what the author wrote. It was a really well written, honest post , and it really got me thinking.

I began thinking about my jouney and what blogging has added to it. In my case I beleive that reading blogs has helped me. One blog especially has given me so much inspiration and motivation. Writing my blog has helped me feel like I have a place to rant, to celebrate victories and cry about my defeats. I don’t think anyone actually reads my blog, I write it more for myself than anything else. I try to stay honest, and I try not to censor my feelings, but I do try too keep it positve. I have enough negative self talk floating around in my brain most of the time, I like to try to counteract that with some positive writing.

As far as being obsessed with food…….I had to think long and hard on that one. I am obsessed to a point. I write down every morsal of food I put in my mouth, look up calories, when I am going out to eat I have to know where I am going, I scour online menus trying to find things I can eat without totally blowing it. I even have on occasion said no to invites where I knew the temptations would be too great. If I had to be completely honest, I would have to admit yes……that is definately obsessive.

My workout routine is somewhat obsessive as well. I do it every morning, I go to bed super early so that I am able to get up early enough to get the workout in, I’ve made it a habit, and a must. I will also turn down invites if I feel like it will interfere with them getting done. Obsessive.

On the other side of the cion, and this is my opinion as it applys to me, these practices, this obsession has definately brought me results. I beleive that not eating mindfully, not knowing how many calories I was eating, was the entire reason I weighed 210 lbs. I feel that I was out of control, I was kidding myself. I feel like I was not doing the work. Nothing is easy….especially weight loss. I feel like I need to keep track of my food intake and my exercise to ensure my sucess.

Being 210 lbs. was a nightmare for me. I am 5’9 and all my life I was thin. Suddenly I hit my mid thirties and all that changed. I was in denial. I would not admit I was overweight till the number 210 slapped me in the face. I kept saying I would fix it, I would lose it all…..but instead I just kept getting deeper and deeper into it.

Right now I am in the best place I’ve been in in years. I can see some of the old me peeking through. My husband didn’t even know me in my “skinny days”. He met me as I was on the steady climb up the pound ladder. Thankfully he loved me regardless….but even that didn’t make me feel better. I felt for the first time in my life totally invisible. I felt ugly, I felt like people though I was lazy and sloppy. I never want to go back to that place again.

I know that being obsessed with anything is not a great thing. But for now, I like to think of it as being focused on my goal. I don’t ever want to eat mindlessly again. I don’t ever want to get out of the exercise habit. I don’t ever want to binge eat loads of crap. Eventually I feel that when I’ve reached my goal and I am maintaining, I will find a balence with eating and exercising. In fact that will be one of my main goals while maintaining. But for now, I will just stay obsessed (focused), because for now it works for me.

As for blog reading, I think I always will. How else do you find excellent posts, thought provoking insights, motivation and inspiration, when you are not always surrounded by like minded people working tword the same goals?

One Response to “First Sign Of Spring”

  1. Jen, a priorfatgirl said

    VERY VERY well said! I agree, blogging has helped so much more then I ever thought it would/could. Not only because I get to say things I normally would only think, but also because I can read about others who are experiencing the same frustrations and know I’m not alone. Weird, but I actually consider you all my friends!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: