All Things In Moderation

…….. and moderation in all things .

Thank you ! Thank You ! Thank You ! and A Promise I Made To Myself

Posted by Susan on June 5, 2009

First off I want to say thank you so much for the comments you guys left on yesterday’s blog post. I cannot tell you how much they meant to me …… As wonderful and supportive as my husband and sister have been through out my weight loss, they don’t really “get it” like you guys do ! Thanks for sharing my joy and understanding my fears ! I am still reeling from yesterday !

Last Saturday , when I reached my goal weight I was reminded of a promise I made to myself a long time ago, when I was at my all time heaviset weight. I swore to myself that I would take more pride in my appearence.

When I was fat I gave up on myself pretty much. I always wore make up to work, but doing my hair usually consisted of throwing my wet hair into a ponytail. If it was a day off , I would do nothing ! No make up , dressed like a slob for the most part. I was even known to go food shopping in my PJ’s on a Sunday morning ! I am ashamed to admit that I even went to family functions in sweats and just rolled out of bed hair !

I figured what was the point ! It was like putting fancy wrapping paper on a broken gift ! I had myself convinced that I did not care . I distictly remember telling myself that as soon as I lost the weight I would get myself together.

As the weight started coming off I got a little better. I did something with my hair, I tried a little harder, but I still had that inner voice inside tellling me it just wasn’t worth it.

Last week I decided that it was time. I promised I would make an effort, and with the time off this week it was the perfect opportunity to make the change ! The pic above was the first day of our vacation and I was determined not to go out looking like I didn’t care. I did my hair and my make up……….I tried to dress cute………..but it was so flippen’ cold outside I ended up in the hoodie anyway !!!!!

But each day I have been taking the time to try. I knew we had plans for the day and I put in the effort to look decent. I am not sure how my huband feels about it, he is doing a lot more standing around waiting for me ! But he hasn’t complained. (yet !)

I guess what happend when I gained the weight was that I lost myself underneath it. I didn’t feel that I was worth it. Or maybe I felt like I didn’t deserve it.

Here is a picture from Christmas a few years ago. Notice the sweats and sloppy sweat shirt, not to mention the bed head on the girl standing next to Santa.

Again in my typical outfit !

I was so sad then. That’s why I made the promise to myself. And that’s why I am trying to make good on it !

4 Responses to “Thank you ! Thank You ! Thank You ! and A Promise I Made To Myself”

  1. skinny me! said

    Great post! yah…you totally deserve to look after yourself!! It's funny how our feelings can affect our appearance so much! Go get yourself a pedicure or something…or a massage! You SO deserve it and it'll make you feel incredible.

  2. Syl said

    Susan looking at your old pictures I can only say that the new you looks SO MUCH YOUNGER! I don't mean any offence to you by saying that and I hope you don't take it like that but the new you looks amazing!

    Just a food for thought:

    I too struggle with my hair, but I have a great hairdresser who tries new fun things.

    Remember when I got my haircut and color? I felt like I had shed the "fat Syl" it's hard to explain but the feeling was amazing. the more she cut the better I felt 😉

    Maybe a new cut or color would be a nice way to treat yourself..after all you deserve it!

  3. Tiffany said

    Glad to hear that you are starting to "care" more. You're definitely worth it. It's funny how we convince ourselves that we don't deserve things when we are over weight. I think it's common.

    Anyway, you look great.

  4. Anonymous said

    I totally relate – but one thing I've always tried to do is use a lot of pretty wrapping paper to hide the broken present 😉 Hence, massive hair color changes, drag queen makeup and the endless quest to find plus sized clothes that don't make me sick.

    I am SO F'N proud of you, you really are a HUGE inspiration and if you could bottle and sell your committment and perseverance, you'd be a bazillionaire.

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