All Things In Moderation

…….. and moderation in all things .

A Day At The Beach

Posted by Susan on July 6, 2009

Well, I did it . I went to the beach and I LOVED it. One of the main reasons we moved into this house was the fact that there was a beach available. It was such an awsome benefit and I was so excited about it ……. but never felt good enough about myself to actually use it.

Today, I not only went , took off my shirt and shorts , I even went in the water a few times . Yes , I walked , in my swimsuit, to the water in front of people and swam ! My husband does not understand the signifigance of this. He doesn’t get that I was so uncomfortable with my body that even the thought of walking (half naked) in front of other people was so terrifying to me.

I learned a lot today in the few hours I spent . First of all, there were ALL body types there. Old, young , male , female, and I was no better or no worse than any of them ! I was just like everyone else , enjoying a beautiful day!

I also realized that my body is what it is ……. I am never going to be perfect , or on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I will never grace the pages of Oxygen Magazine ……….. and in truth, nor do I want to ! I am happy with what I have . I worked hard to get to this point. When I was younger I was guitly of striving for some unachieveable ideal. As I got older the acceptence slowly grew. I always thought if I accepted myself flaws and all it was like giving up on myself. Now I see that it isn’t that at all. Giving up is when you deprive yourself of all the fun things like family picnics, and days at the beach …….. When I reached the point of acceptence I finally understood that it was the happiest place I’ve ever been.

So today I am at a place where I feel at peace. I am even plannning my next beach visit ! (Saturday if weather permits ) I am excited that summer is not longer something I dread…… I will, from this day on, look forward to summers at the lake !
I am posting this last picture because I feel like it is kind of courageous. I am not doing it because I think I look fabulous or anything…….. I could sit here and make a list a mile long of all the things I am unhappy with when I look at it. But I won’t. Because it is what it is. It is the result of a lot of hard work, and many , many failed trys. But all in all I am satisfied with where I am . That right there makes it all worth the trouble !!!!!!

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4 Responses to “A Day At The Beach”

  1. mak'n Changes said

    WOO HOO (whistles). You look amazing! I love that suit too! You rocked that bikini girl, I am way proud of u for wearing it!
    Cindie

  2. Syl said

    Susan,
    as I wipe my tears reading your post I can totally relate to you although I haven't taken that step just yet, but i am close to being happy!
    So glad you didn't waste another summer, you still have so much of it ahead of you.
    YOU LOOK AMAZING!

  3. Sal said

    Susan,

    Wowzers!!!! You look totally hawt!! You're such an inspiration.

  4. Jen, a priorfatgirl said

    I didn't get a chance to stop by yesterday and just read this now – OMG, I am toally JUMPING UP AND DOWN FOR YOU! You did it! You faced your fears, you dismissed the fact that you wanted to run & hide and did it. AND YOU DID'T DIE! This really is huge not just for the fact that you got some sun but mentally, you have achieved so much! Congratulations Susan!!!

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