All Things In Moderation

…….. and moderation in all things .

Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

Unfounded Fears and a Good Night’s Sleep !

Posted by Susan on June 9, 2009

I am happy to report that the scale this morning showed that I am still right on target. (139.4 lbs.) My little panic yesterday turned out to be unnecessary. I guess I am going to have to deal with my fears for a while , until I get myself to a point where I am comfortable with maintaining my weight. My logic hasn’t caught up to my emeotions as of yet. I hope it gets better, but what do I expect ? It is only mid way through week 2.

Today at work a friend (who had Gastric Bypass 3 years ago , and who is has had trouble with weight gain lately) came to me in tears. It seems that 2 of the girls from another dept. called her out on her recent weight gain. They told her she was gaining weight, and that she needs to watch herself before it gets out of hand and she gains back all the weight she lost ! I felt horrible for her (I’ve been the recipient of such criticism before) and tried my best to console her. In her state of upset, she even told me that when I start gaining back the weight I lost ( NO HAPPENING !) , see how I feel !

Anyway that is not what this post is about. The question I have is, why is it that people feel the need to offer their opinions when you don’t ask for it ?! Especially when it comes to weight ! I don’t get it. Is it that people just don’t think before they open their mouths? Or is it that people are that thoughtless and unfeeling? Since I understand the emotional pain that goes with weight, I would never ever think to mention to someone that they are gaining . Even if it is meant as help………….it really isn’t any help at all !

Honestly you can’t win anyway ! I got the comments on my weight when I was fat, and now I get them now that I am not ! Someone today asked me if I’d lost weight, when I said yes I did, they started with the “don’t you think your a bit too thin?”stuff !

I would love to go on and on about not caring what others thing, but I am not that evolved yet ! Weight loss doesn’t instanly make insecurities go away. I still have a ton of work to do on myself in that direction. All I know is that when your feeling badlt about how you look, you don’t need anyone to remind you of what you already know !

Ok, enough ranting for one night. I promised myself that tonight would be a full 8 hours of sleep, so I best get cracking ! The late nights of vacation on definately messed my sleeping patterns up. Have a great tomorrow everyone !

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Dieting can be a lonely place…………

Posted by Susan on February 22, 2009

Sometimes I am just sick of being on a diet. I have been on one for almost 3 years now. Always worried about what I am eating, how much I am working out, what am I doing workout-wise, how many calories are in this and that, what are they serving at this party we are going to, or what will I be able to order at this restraunt we are going to. My mind is always trying to think a head, always trying to plan a head. I wish I didn’t think it was so important…..but I just do.

But it can be a very lonely place sometimes. There are times when I feel out of place. I am not surrounded with like-minded people. I know a lot of people who complain about their weight, TALK about doing something about it, but I don’t know anyone who actually DOES anything about it. People also feel the need to comment about your passing on goodies. They call you obsessed. They sometimes even look you over as if to say….”.well your always on a diet, but I never see you look any different”. I often wish that I could find someone who understood why it is important, who didn’t keep saying …”oh your fine, just enjoy yourself”. I would love to have someone to talk food with, to swap calorie saving ideas and workout programs with. I wish someone would just get me, and understand my goals.

Alas… is what it is. I am in this, committed to it. Even if nobody understands the importance of this journey, I need to make that all the more reason to suceed. My husband trys to support me, he actually does a pretty good job at it, but he still doesn’t get it. He tells me all the time that he wishes that I could be as happy with me as he is….but it all goes deeper than that. It is more about how I feel about myself, how awful I feel when I see pictures of myself, or when I have to go some place special and I am going nuts looking for something that looks halfway decent to wear. It is about feeling good in my own skin.

So yes, it is lonely right now. But I can’t help believe that in the end, when all the pieces finally fall into place, I will be glad I did it, and I will show all the people who refuse to understand and support me, and I will feel that it was all worth the trouble. I will just keep trudging along, doing all the things I know work. I believe in what I am doing, and I see all the time through blogs that it can be done….and I will do it too !

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