All Things In Moderation

…….. and moderation in all things .

Archive for the ‘struggles’ Category

Empty

Posted by Susan on May 1, 2009

I blogged earlier in the week about bagging up my old clothes and giving them away . As the week has gone on , I’ve come to realize that this act getting rid of all my ” fat clothes ” has so much more signifigance than I first thought . It is a symbol of so many , many things .
It is a symbol of dedication to a goal . To all the hard work and sacrifice along the way. It is a symbol of the knowledge that I can do anything I set my mind to . That I am capable of more than I gave myself credit for .
It is a farewell to the woman I once was . To the times I declined invitations because I didn’t want to try on clothes and agonize over what I would wear or how I would look . To the times I went out with friends and felt frumpy and invisible in comparison .
It is a symbol of freedom from wearing certain clothes because they are more “slimming”. For living life dressed in blacks and browns, long sweaters and shirts so that the butt was covered adequately . To living life in sweat pants and pretending I didn’t care what I looked like .
It is a symbol of a fresh start where I can reinvent myself , and be anything I want to be from this moment forward. That I can be what I want instead of what I think I have to be .
It is the symbol of a promise I make to myself to never go back to my old life . That I will keep all the things I worked so hard for . That I am worth it .
It is also a symbol of all the lessons I’ve learned along the way . I feel so much better now , both physically and mentally. I feel clear and strong . I feel excited for every new day …….. something I haven’t felt in years .
So cleaning out my closet at this point in my life is so much more than housework or organization . It is proof that change is possible . It is proof to anyone who thinks it just can’t be done , that it can . And if I can do it , anyone can.

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Posted in diet, exercise, fat clothes, struggles | Leave a Comment »

Family Dinner

Posted by Susan on April 18, 2009

Tonight we hosted a family dinner and the first official cookout of the season. I served hamburgers, hotdog, a big green salad, and potato chips. It was fun to be with my family (this was my side of the family) and we were lucky enough to have planned it on what turned out to be the nicest evening so far this year….it was in the high 60’s and breezy in Connecticut today.
I did well with my eating, I knew what we were having and planned out my food today to accomodater tonights dinner. I even had Pop Chips instead of regular chips….but I did end up picking at real full fat chips here and there, so that wasn’t so good. I hate when I eat things I shouldn’t the night before a weigh in, it stresses me out. I guess I will see what happens in the morning.
It is really tough to eat only a certain amount of food when everyone else is eating whatever. It is so much easier when I am on my own. But I need to learn to be around food and people and not go nuts. I was tempted to eat an extra hotdog, but I didn’t……….I just wish I never opened the second bag of chips, I ended up picking and I know from experience that picking is dangerous. You have no idea how much you are eating, picking tends to be mindless and mindless is dangerous for me.
The good news is I am not bloated or over full. I know when I feel like that I went terribly wrong ! I feel fine right now, and it could have been a whole lot worse. It is something I need to work on. I am just not good with eating around others who eat as much as they want…..I tend to want to follow their lead. I need to eat what I planned to eat and no more. I did ok this time, will do better next time.
Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in. I would love it if I could hit my first goal weight tomorrow….that would be 150 lbs. My second and ultimate goal would be 140 lbs. But I will cross that bridge when I come to it. For now I will be completely happy if I lost 2 lbs. tomorrow. I guess we shall see…………

Posted in food, maintaining weight loss, struggles | 1 Comment »

Portion Control

Posted by Susan on April 14, 2009

I was always the queen of huge portions. If I went out to eat I always went for volume. Huge cheeseburgers served with a pile of french fries, massive plates of eggplant parm. with pasta. On top of that I would stuff down
dessert , hungry for it or not.

Lately I have been paying close attention to portion sizes. Because I am tracking everything that passes my lips, I need to weigh and measure foods to get an accurate calorie count. I am noticing that I am satisfied completely with less food and smaller portions. When I ate pasta I would have 1 cup. Last week I decided to see if I felt any difference satisfation-wise if I ate only 1/2 cup. I did it all week and felt nothing. I wasn’t more hungry after the meal, nor was I a few hours after the meal. I was fine.

I am starting to think that eventually there will come a time when I can eat just about anything , as long as I keep control over the portion. In the past year or so I have been noticing that my body rebells agains over eating anyway. I always suffer terrible bloating, an uncomfortable fullness that keeps me from sleeping, and a literal food hangover the next day that is hardly worth the slurge.

How would it be to be able to enjoy my food, eating one portion instead of numerous portions piled on to one plate? I think it would be not only liberating, but would allow me to live a much more comfortable existance. (ie. no more tummy aches!)

The biggest struggle I would have would be eating out. I , for some reason ,have this paniced ” better eat it while I can, because I will never get this chance again” mentality the minute the food is put in front of me. Right now I try to make healthier, low calorie, low fat, menu choices. But I have to be honest, I do not want to spend the rest of my life eating nothing but grilled chicken salads ! I want to enjoy rich, decadant foods once in a while, but I don’t want to over do it to the point of feeling sick !

I need to work on reminding myself that I don’t need to eat it all….I can take what’s not eaten home. I also have to listen to my body when it tells me I am full. I am so much into the mindset that I can’t waste it , or I don’t want it in the house because I do not want to eat it tomorrow. I just need to relax and not get so stressed and weird about it.

This is definately something I will need to work on. I plan on NEVER gaining back this weight. At the same time, I want to live my life and enjoy food…………..just not ridiculous amounts of it !!!! It is just not worth it , and just not necessary.

Posted in food, portions, restraunt ordering, struggles | 2 Comments »